So, creative projects, MIRITE?! Still going strong, despite the fact that I still have to finish that week 3 poem, and I’m still missing a couple from February when I was on a business trip to Brazil, but for the most part, I’m still there, still creating things on a weekly basis. But lately, these projects have taken a detour into an completely unexpected area.

Programming.

Not my original intent, mind you. When I conceived of this little project for myself, I had envisioned short stories, drawings, paintings, and music. All the usual sub-standard trappings of what we like to term the “creative arts”. An opening of my heart, an outpouring of raw, unfiltered emotion. We’re talking about Lifetime Original Movie sort of content. But then a couple of weeks ago, I thought “Hey! Why not take my shabby little game database, and make a sweet looking website out of it for my creative project?” And so I did.

And then, once I posted the site online, I had yet another thought (you can see where this sort of thing could get dangerous), where I thought “Hey! Doing this sort of thing in HTML is time-consuming and clunky. I’ll bet I could teach myself to create a more dynamic website!” And so, after asking around on Twitter a bit, I bought a PHP/MySQL book, and did just that.

Now, I am consumed. Consumed by the power of PHP and MySQL. Brilliant sparks of creative thought flash against the empty interior of my skull and scream for attention. What I could build with just these two hands and a shaky understanding of relational database schemas! What worlds I could create through the power of a poorly-structured SQL query! What tapestries I could paint with a severely lacking comprehension of PHP arrays!

I have become like a GOD. (But not an awesome one like God, but more like the fake, lesser ones, like one of those that the Israelites worshipped when they fled Egypt. You know, like Baal.)

But the beautiful drawings? The mesmerizing wordsmithery? GONE are the days of stirring the soul with pens and imagery. No, sir! I shall stir the soul with gorgeous variables, gently laced with dollar signs and carefully-placed semi-colons! I shall pierce the heart with a fitting SQL login script, and render it mute with a caress of lovingly-crafted FOR/EACH statements.

You cry out “LOVE!” and I shall cry out “echo ‘Yes, ‘.$love.’ indeed.’;”

(The above may or may not have been written completely in jest, at a moment of weakness brought on by a code-induced frenzy. But I will say this: I really do love programming. But not more than words, because, jeez. A man’s gotta TALK.)