Apple is NOT going to buy Nintendo

I can’t provide a single link because there’s so many news sitesreportingon this. The originating article can be found on Crave, a tech blog over at CNet UK. The originating article also makes sweeping assumptions based on zero fact and only partially possible rumors. It’s basically a gigantic “wouldn’t it be great if…?” article, and it’s pathetic that so many other sites are linking this pile of emptiness. However, from around the global blogosphere, the best quote from any article covering this “news” can be found at Valleywag, courtesy of Nick Douglas:

It’d be the Brangelina of technology — they’re both so goddamn sexy, everyone fantasizes about them getting it on.

That’s pretty much the long and short of it. The only reason this topic keeps coming up is because so many people want it to happen so very badly. They see how similar the two companies’ business models are, how they both attempt to bring in new consumers to expand the market with new ideas and fresh products, and they desire to see these two companies “get it on” (in a corporate manner, of course).

It’s not going to happen. Why? Because no matter how much money gets thrown at Nintendo’s shareholders, Yamauchi is still the chairman of the board. If you know anything about Yamauchi, you know the man will not sell the company to an American corporation.

Sorry, folks. Keep dreaming. According to Valleywag, there’s still hope:

In fact, the celebrity tryst aura (as explained on the Beeb show, Coupling: If enough people fantasize about two celebrities having sex, they’ll be drawn to each other) makes iNintendo a certainty.

Yep. There’s still hope…